The Pursuit of Happiness

       While praying the other night I was overwhelmed with happiness. The happiness had been there for a couple of days, but that night I was overcome by it. That night I was so completely, utterly, fully and purely happy. Nor words can explain how happy I was and that feeling lasted awhile. I was happy because it was Christmas soon, I was happy because I am loved, I was happy because I have an eternal family I get to call my own. I was happy because of the temple so near to me that I've been going to more often. I was extremely happy because I am loved by my family, friends, leaders, my ward and especially by my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. I am so loved! And I love it! I felt this overwhelming joy even in my soul. I felt it in my heart, my mind, and my whole body and soul. I know that the only reason I could feel this limitless happiness is because I know and believe in Jesus Christ. He is the source of true joy. As I was feeling this happiness it seemed as if thoughts from Satan rebounded of the armor of God I wear that was strengthened by this joy in Christ. The anxiety and depression I deal with on a daily basis had no room to breathe and could not penetrate my thoughts or feelings. I felt happy because of all the service I have given this season and the love I have been able to spread.

        This experience was definitely a "celestial moment" (see Jan. 2016 New Era). This experience also reminded me of how much I have to be grateful for and therefore how much I have to be happy about. Soon after I returned from the hospital I read an article by Elder D. Todd Christofferson entitled Look to God Each Day ( https://www.lds.org/new-era/2015/04/look-to-god-each-day?lang=eng ). In it he talks about the Tribes of Israel who wandered the wilderness for forty days, and each new day they were given manna from Christ, but only enough for that day. He tells us how we are alike; that each day Jesus gives us enough spiritual sustenance to get us through each passing day. This teaches us to have faith and trust in the Savior that the next day He will give us more manna to allow us to continue on. Since reading that article I have looked for manna in my personal life. Something that made that day great, it can be big or small. Often times that manna is taken for granted and properly thanked for. By seeking out manna in my own life it has caused me to be more grateful for the small things that make a world of a difference to me that day. In Alma 37:6 it read; "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass."

        For me, seeking out at least one thing to be particularly grateful for that day has opened up my eyes to see the hand of God in my everyday life. It has also opened up my heart to the true joy of the Savior. In the most recent General Conference Elder Russell M. Nelson spoke about joy. He said; "When the focus of our lives is on Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening-- or not happening-- in our lives." As I daily feast on the words of the Savior (or manna) I am able to draw nearer to and get to know better my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and I get to know true joy, which is only possible by focusing on God's Plan of Salvation.( https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/10/joy-and-spiritual-survival?lang=eng )

    I know that by partaking of our manna each day and trusting that the Savior will send more tomorrow we take up His invitation to have light in our life and can know and have true joy in everyday.



Love,
Kenzie

       
     

Girl's camp 2016

When I was asked to speak on girl's camp next Sunday, I realized I hadn't done a blog post on it. So here we go. Our camp theme was from the Wizard of Oz specifically something Glinda said. " You had the power all along my dear, you just had to find it yourself." In many ways I think this applies to the gospel. Here we are on Earth, sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us and is just a prayer away. Yet sometimes He is quiet, there, but quiet, as we have to figure out things on our own. But truthfully we aren't ever alone. Just like Dorothy had toto, the scarecrow, the tinman, and the lion. We also have friends who stick with us through thick and thin. Dorothy also had the knowledge that her aunt and uncle back in Kansas were looking everywhere for her and loved her dearly. We have a Heavenly Father who is desperate for us to make it back to Him who's love knows no boundaries. And even when we feel alone, we simply have to pray, and the Holy Ghost will be with us, Christ will give us a hug, and God will bless us with His kindness and love, and we will know that we are never truly alone.

In order to find it for ourselves we need a few things, we must have knowledge of our Heavenly Father's plan for us and of the Savior's gospel, we must have love for God and our fellow man and also trust in God's love for us, we need courage; we are going to face some lions, tigers, and bears out there and need strength from God to face those trials, we also need hope; which is given to us by our Savior through His Atonement, we need faith that God knows what He is doing, and last of all we need to endure to the end. Throughout camp each of these points was talked about and related to our day. At the end of one girl's devotional on love my young women's president turned to me and looked at me expectantly, I immediately knew I needed to share my testimony, I opened my mouth and words just flowed out. I bore my testimony on my Heavenly Father's and Jesus Christ's love for me and how this knowledge is the greatest knowledge we can have. I can truly testify that Heavenly Father loves me and you so much, no words can describe how much He cares for us, I mean He sent His Son to die for us, if that isn't proof enough of how much He loves us, seriously it doesn't get any better than that. I also know that my Savior loves me with a love as deep as God's. I am so thankful that I have found this out for myself and have this knowledge with me forever. This moment at girl's camp is probably what stood out the most to me, that and hugging and crying with my sweet Julia.

Now we of course had lots of fun at girl's camp too, between the crazy water fight, the beautiful hike, the skits. The Spirit was felt throughout the whole week, it was a very welcome peace that was definitely needed to make camp great! This year was amazing and it's sad to think that might be my last girl's camp as a young woman. It was really weird being the oldest there and being in charge. It was of course great being a tent mom! I had the greatest little monsters out there! I love you girls so much. I have the most amazing ward and young women out there. I want to say thank you to them for loving me, I love you all so much, thanks for making girl's camp the best! I love this gospel, my family, my friends, and I love my Heavenly Father and Savior so much!

 Here's a few pics from camp...

Love,

Kenzie

My journey of faith

These past 6 months have been a journey, if there ever was one. Being checked into a mental hospital was never on my list of things to do. But God works in mysterious ways and work He did. When dealing with depression and anxiety, you feel very on edge and ready to do everything and more, but depression counteracts that and makes you feel very un-motivated and you feel like doing nothing. With depression can also come self-harm or suicidal thoughts. These are not something to be taken lightly. My depression became so bad, I was physically ill because of it. I was admitted into a mental hospital late January/beginning February. When I learned that going there would be the best help to me and that I would only see my family for an hour each night, I bawled. My family is my biggest support system, I didn't think I could do it being apart from them like like. By God's tender care I was able to make it through.

 During my stay at the hospital, I had no church, but I did get a Book of Mormon half way through my stay. The atmosphere at the hospital was unlike anything I'd ever been around before. Most of the kids came from rough backgrounds, nothing like what I was used to. They swore and talked about drugs and such constantly. Normally I can block these  things out, but having to live with it was almost too much for me. So I began reading the Book of Mormon, I was astounded how much I could feel the Spirit amidst so much junk. Reading the Book of Mormon and feeling of that sweet Spirit is truly what got me through those dark days. Coming home after a week and a half stay there, was good and bad. Mostly good. (My thoughts are scattered so bear with me.)

My family is my everything, my parents came every single night to visit with me, my grandma called me everyday, much love was sent from my siblings through the phone or my parents. I love my family so much! They are the strongest, most caring, most loving people you will ever meet. I am so glad that I have such a strong support system in my family, they are always there for me no matter what and are always quick to give me their love. My second family was amazing as well. I have the best ward family anyone could ask for, they were constantly helping, praying, and loving me and my family. I love my ward! My friends are the best friends anyone could ask for, my friends held a fast for me. I'm crying right now just thinking about it and how blessed I am with angels for family and friends. But, the one person who never left my side was my Savior Jesus Christ. He knows exactly what I went through and what I continue to go through and He knows how to give me what I need to keep going when I need it. He doesn't just know how to help me, He does help me. My Savior suffered every imaginable thing just so I don't have to suffer alone. How grateful I am for His sacrifice in my behalf. My testimony of the Savior has grown so much in the past 6 months that I often I am overcome by the Spirit and the reality of it all. As I look back on what I've dealt with the last few months I am simply grateful, grateful that I have a loving Father in Heaven and Redeemer that care about me enough to not leave me comfortless. I'm grateful for my family, who are also by my side through everything. I am grateful for my ward who have supported me and my family through our trials. I am thankful for my testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and the gospel of Jesus Christ and for my faith in the Savior and the power of His Atonement. I am also grateful for how much I have been strengthened because of my trials and wouldn't change what I've learned and how much I've grown for the world. I love my family, my ward, my friends, and my Savior more than words can express. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus Christ is real, He lives, and He is aware of our individual needs. I love a quote by Elder Holland that basically sums up my life "Don't you quit. Don't you give up. You keep walking, you keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead, a lot of it. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

Love,
Kenzie

A friend in Christ

With Easter just recently passed, I wanted to take a moment and think about Jesus Christ and His Atonement. As I have gone through some trials lately I've learned how to draw upon the power and strength that Christ has to offer because of His Atonement. I've learned to turn everything over to Him and allow Him to succor me in my afflictions. I've learned that relief doesn't always come, but instead courage comes to allow me to keep on truckin'. I've learned that not only do Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me no matter my flaws; they love me with a pure, eternal love that doesn't come from earning it; it comes because I am a daughter of a Heavenly King, who loves me so much, He sent His Only Begotten Son to bleed and die for me and then The Savior rose again, so that I can live with my Father in Heaven again.

In Alma 34 it teaches that we are all hardened, fallen, and utterly lost without the Atonement of Jesus Christ. How true that is! I know that without the Atonement of Jesus Christ, without prayer, without the temple, without the scriptures, and without the Holy Ghost; I would not have had the strength or the courage to keep walking on this path of life. I have learned more about not only my emotional and mental self, but my spiritual self as well in these past few months then I have in awhile. I become so overcome with the Spirit it astounds me! I have become more susceptible to the Spirit through my trials, it seems crazy; but I promise that the Spirit has been with me more (that I've noticed) in the past few months than ever before. I know the reason behind this is because Christ is at constant work in my life, He is always finding small and big ways to give me a leg up when I can't quite reach the next step. He is my brother, my Savior, my Redeemer, my counselor, and most of all; my friend. I know He lives!