Because of some recent health problems I gained a lot of weight, my clothes didn't fit anymore, I was more tired, and I hated that it seemed like no matter what I wore it was very obvious that I had gained weight. When those health problems were resolved I decided to go to a nutritionist and get some professional help losing weight. She recommended a few changes to my diet and exercise, the only problem was I had just injured my foot and was in a boot. I also knew that if I tried to change everything at once I would get overwhelmed and end up quitting. I began my new regime and had been working at it for at least a month and a half with no visible results, needless to say I was frustrated. During this time I would keep making the same mistakes over and over again and beating myself up over it each time. I came to loathe how much I weighed and the stretch marks beginning to show all over my body. I hated having to buy bigger clothes and trying to change my normal routine and eating habits. It is hard! One thing that has helped me was a discussion we had at institute a couple weeks ago. We discussed how God knows we are mortal and will always make mistakes, but He loves us anyway. One point that was brought up was how the scriptures teach that when we sincerely repent God remembers the sin no more, so even though we might make the same mistakes over and over again, as long as we are fully repenting God views it as the first time we've made that mistake. How eye-opening that was for me to know that God loves and supports me through every repeated mistake as long as I am taking the steps to sincerely repent.
Though that was a great reminder for me, I still found myself upset because of my appearance and weight. My mom recommended I read the August Ensign and New Era because the whole topic of this month was the body. I took her advice and read each article that had to do with the body. I read about how our bodies are temples for our spirits and how we are created in the image of God. These things I already knew, but as I kept reading I learned things that most people know, but don't accept in their own lives. Some tips were given on how to improve one's body image and stop negative thinking. A few of those tips were: seeing as God sees through the lens of love, realizing that Satan is the one putting those negative thoughts in our heads because he doesn't have a body like we do, and the one I liked the best was: when negative thoughts come about my body, practice gratitude for what my body can do! I got to an article that didn't have much to do with what I've been talking about when suddenly I was overcome with love, God was telling me that I am loved and I am worthy, and I am beautiful and amazing and everything else Satan kept telling me I was not. Now, I know those thoughts won't stop completely, but I do know that now I have that affirmation from God to keep me going through those times when I just don't feel good enough. I am going to keep at my diet and exercise goals, I am going to keep praying and studying the Gospel, and above all I am going to remind myself what God thinks of me and be grateful for what my body can do and does do everyday. I am so blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father in my life who I keep in frequent contact with and a Savior who suffered below what I ever will so He can lift me from underneath. I will end with a great quote from our prophet President Russell M. Nelson: "With your body being such a vital part of God’s eternal plan, it is little wonder that the Apostle Paul described it as a “temple of God.”14 Each time you look in the mirror, see your body as your temple. That truth—refreshed gratefully each day—can positively influence your decisions about how you will care for your body and how you will use it." ("Decisions for Eternity," Ensign, Nov. 2013).
Love,
Kenzie
