I'm sure many of us have wondered and complained at one point or another how certain trials we face are unfair. I know I have many times, this past Sunday I found myself thinking those exact thoughts. I pondered on how many of my plans have not worked out, especially the past few years. I am not where I thought I would be and am definitely not where I hoped I would be. I have felt so stuck in this endless cycle of making goals that I know God approves of, getting so close to achieving them, then something comes up and drops me back down to level zero. I have questioned over and over again why I can't seem to move on with my life. Sometimes it hits me so hard that I can't help but cry and feel depressed. As these thoughts and feelings overwhelmed me Sunday afternoon, I reached out to friends to see if they were available to talk. Saying things out loud helps me relieve the burden. My friend Becca was able to talk with me over the phone. She is such an amazing, loving, caring person and I am grateful for her in my life. She recommended I read Elder Dale G. Renlund's talk from the April 2021 General Conference. (As a side note, I've also been dealing with severe anxiety lately and a constantly racing mind, which makes it very hard to feel and hear the Spirit, simply because the mind and body are so full with all sorts of other stuff). As I read this talk tonight, I was immediately filled with the Spirit. Feeling the Spirit anytime is a wonderful experience, but it is extra special when it seems like it has been forever since you felt it last. While reading, I was hit by certain phrases and principles that have never meant as much to me as they did as I soaked in Elder Renlund's words.
The first principle that stuck out to me was the reality of how unfair it was that Christ had to suffer the sins and pain of all mankind. However, because Christ loves us and Heavenly Father, He went through with it and because He did so, He can perfectly empathize with each of us in our times of unfairness. Which also means He has the power to provide a remedy. That remedy does not always mean He will take it away immediately. Elder Renlund explains that, "Even while we suffer inexplicably, God can bless us in simple, ordinary, and significant ways." One of the ways God has blessed me to be able to feel the Spirit lately, even for just a short time, is by calling me to teach Primary. Listening to the children sing about the gospel brings me peace that not much else has been able to. It is amazing how much faith the kids put into their voices as they sing praises to God.
In the scriptures it tells of ancient Israelites who complained that God treated them unfairly. In response The Christ said that a mother may forget her sucking child (which is highly unlikely), but His devotion to us is even more steadfast, because we are engraved on the palms of His hands and are always before Him. If you think about how improbable it would be for a mother to forget her child, according to this statement by the Savior (found in 1 Nephi 21: 15-16) it is completely impossible for Jesus Christ to forget us. Imagine that, we are always on His mind, when we feel abandoned, when our goals seem so far away, and even when we are angry because life is unfair, we are continually before Him and He is always aware of us and our circumstances.
This past Sunday a recently returned sister missionary spoke about faith. She told us that it is not enough to say we have faith and move on to other pursuits. We have to be actively practicing our faith in the way we act, live, and pray. Elder Renlund taught, "In unfair situations, one of our tasks is to trust that all that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." Trust goes hand in hand with faith, if we trust God we also have faith in Him.
If anyone else is a Harry Potter fan they may remember that a character named Luna Lovegood often 'lost' things. She never let it bother her and even said something along the lines of how lost things often have a way of coming back to us, though not always in the way we expect it. This goes right along with something else Elder Renlund said that really struck home tonight. He said, " If we let Him, Jesus Christ will consecrate the unfairness for our gain. He will not just console us and restore what was lost; He will use the unfairness for our benefit. When it comes to how and when, we need to recognize and accept, as did Alma, that 'it mattereth not; for God knoweth all these things; and it sufficeth me to know that this is the case.' "
My friend Becca also reminded me that it is okay to recognize and even tell God that what we are experiencing is unfair. As long as we don't get caught up in how unfair things are, but instead ask God for help to see the good and to endure the trials. I know more trials are always ahead, but more importantly, I know that even more blessings and good things are in store for you and me. Please don't give up on yourself, or on those above who give you hope to keep going. As Elder Jeffery R. Holland has said, "Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever." I believe in you!
Love,
Kenzie
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