Self Worth

Today in Laurel's class we talked about our self worth, and it made me realize how many people out there are only concerned about how they look for someone. I want to tell you it doesn't matter your pant size, weight, height, or looks. You are who you are, don't change that! God only cares about what is inside, if your friends don't care about that, you need to find better friends who do. Often we try to base our appearance on some celebrity or famous athlete, we try to cover up what God sees us as, beautiful daughters and princesses. In D&C 18:10 it reads "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God ".
It is often pointed out how much we compare ourselves to others. In February's 2015 New Era, under the title of Wet Cement and Real Womanhood by: Hillary Olsen. She gives us an example of this and how to have the right focuses. In the story a six year old girl is following a teenager around doing exactly as she does. At one point the teenager steps off the sidewalk and walks on the road for a few moments, when she stepped back on the little girl did too, but ended up in wet cement. The author then compares it to supposedly "being cool". While we all might think following someone older or bigger than us will make us so cool, we usually end up feeling downcast and insignificant because we are not exactly like them. The author goes on to tell us how we can focus on the right things and be reminded that we are loved by God no matter what we look like.

1. developing Talents
2. discovering true beauty
3. embracing motherhood
4. focusing on eternal goals

I sincerely believe that we are all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us! Don't ever forget it! God is there for us no matter what we go through. Think about it, Christ created worlds and the thing He cares about most is you and me! It amazes me what Christ did for every single one of us, He suffered beyond anything we could ever imagine. He suffered so that we could repent and become like Him someday, He obviously loves us with everything He has and doesn't want us to be miserable, turn to Him and you will find peace. I know this with a surety. I have a testimony of this divine gospel and have been blessed countless times because I have turned to God not only in my time of need, but even when I am not being greatly troubled with something. I know He lives and loves each and everyone of us.

We aren't alone

Today in Stake Conference we had an authority from the seventy and his wife come speak to us. They both spoke in Spanish so there were translators. It was interesting to hear them speak in Spanish pause and wait for the translator to say it in English. At the end of the meeting as the choir was singing, I noticed the elder looking behind him at the choir and it struck me as how no matter what language is being spoken the spirit is felt the same.

Also in Conference today a sister in my stake said something about something from the seeds our tears connecting it to the scripture Helaman 5:12, which states that if we stand upon the rock of our Redeemer we will be safe from the adversary's storm. This scripture mastery has always been a favorite of mine. I've come to realize how much we really need our Savior. Without Him, there would be no reason to be on this earth, no agency, no eternal families, and no Atonement. Everything is centered around the Savior, He is the way, the light, and the life of the world. There is no other way we can be saved but through Jesus Christ.

In the hymn How Firm a Foundation in the second verse it says, "In ev'ry condition-in sickness, in health, In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth, At home or abroad, on the land or the sea" The Lord isn't only with us during our trials. We usually only go to Him during our trial, because we believe this is when we need Him most. While this may be true, we need Him ALWAYS! Christ loves us no matter what we do He wants us to come and live with Him again someday. We need to rely on the Savior always, not only during our trials. I pray everyday that I will be able to come closer to Christ and listen to the Spirit, I sincerely hope you do the same.

Gratitude and patience

If there is one thing that really stuck in my  mind and heart from Tuesday, it's that through all, whether good or bad, I must always have and keep  with me.

1. Gratitude for everything always
2. patience in the Lord as I wait for comfort and answers to my prayers

As some of you know I suffer from major anxiety and used to have panic attacks. Because of my anxiety I always seem to have trouble concentrating. I often have trouble focusing on lessons and talks especially in church. I need to be constantly doing something to keep my mind off unwanted thoughts. On weekends and breaks I often have very little to do and all the thoughts and feelings I have blocked the past week, break through, until it gets to a breaking point on the outside and I lash out with words at my family. When I do this I feel greatly saddened, angry, and lonely. These are the times when I melt down and really pour out my heart to God. Just this past week it happened, I didn't feel like eating (my stomach gets upset when my anxiety acts up), I didn't really talk to anyone and was trying to get my mind caught up on something else. I was almost overwhelmed when I came into my room, shut the door, knelt down and started to pray, as I began to pray I wept and begged for forgiveness of forgetting the Savior so soon. By the end of my prayer I was calm, but knew there were still pent up emotions on the surface. So I wrote in my journal. I wrote about my experience that night and things I learned in Seminary. Always be grateful and patient. I'm thankful for the gospel in my life and the strength it brings to me. I have received countless answers to my prayers and I know that by doing this blog I won't only be doing personal progress but will be coming closer to Christ and taking care of my anxiety better.

Grandma

            Since my Grandmother's passing in 2013, I always begin my journal entries writing to my grandma. I tell her about my day and the things I learn and feel. I especially love to write about my experiences with the gospel and the Spirit. As I go about doing this, I feel connected to my grandma, not only spiritually but mentally. I always knew that I was part of an eternal family, but it never fully set in until my the news of my Grandma's passing. As my cousins and I sang at her funeral, and sat their listening to her life stories I knew without a doubt, that I would see her again and that she would always be my guardian angel. I continue to miss my Grandma and regret not becoming closer to her. So I now write to her in my journal, to tell her I love her and am striving to live the gospel as she did. I often find myself wondering when she realized the church is true, and about her whole conversion story. I can't wait until I can ask her in person and sit at her feet listening to her testimony, and feeling the love she has for our Savior. I yearn to be with all of my family once again in the presence of our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. I am very grateful for the church in my life and the influence it has had and continues to have in the lives of my family and I. I am eternally thankful for the blessings of the temple just mere minutes away from me and for the peace and comfort having an eternal family brings to me every day. I began this blog as a personal progress project, which the purpose of is to strengthen my faith and testimony of the gospel. I not only hope and pray this for myself but that I may be an influence on others as well, according to the Lord's will.