Gratitude and patience

If there is one thing that really stuck in my  mind and heart from Tuesday, it's that through all, whether good or bad, I must always have and keep  with me.

1. Gratitude for everything always
2. patience in the Lord as I wait for comfort and answers to my prayers

As some of you know I suffer from major anxiety and used to have panic attacks. Because of my anxiety I always seem to have trouble concentrating. I often have trouble focusing on lessons and talks especially in church. I need to be constantly doing something to keep my mind off unwanted thoughts. On weekends and breaks I often have very little to do and all the thoughts and feelings I have blocked the past week, break through, until it gets to a breaking point on the outside and I lash out with words at my family. When I do this I feel greatly saddened, angry, and lonely. These are the times when I melt down and really pour out my heart to God. Just this past week it happened, I didn't feel like eating (my stomach gets upset when my anxiety acts up), I didn't really talk to anyone and was trying to get my mind caught up on something else. I was almost overwhelmed when I came into my room, shut the door, knelt down and started to pray, as I began to pray I wept and begged for forgiveness of forgetting the Savior so soon. By the end of my prayer I was calm, but knew there were still pent up emotions on the surface. So I wrote in my journal. I wrote about my experience that night and things I learned in Seminary. Always be grateful and patient. I'm thankful for the gospel in my life and the strength it brings to me. I have received countless answers to my prayers and I know that by doing this blog I won't only be doing personal progress but will be coming closer to Christ and taking care of my anxiety better.